Have you heard of this weird little trick that makes musicologists furious?
If you are trying to write a complicated, fully orchestrated oratorio in a set amount of time, there are many ways you can boost your creativity.
You can take vigorous exercise.
(This is a body double of the composer in question)
What really, really works,
is Pan di Stelle biscuits.
Their use is simple.
Step I: Go to Da Vinci Italian Deli on Bear Flat in Bath.
We have tried buying them from other places, but it’s no good.
Open the packet. The trick here is to wait until you get into the house before doing this. Your librettist jamming them between the driver’s side door and seat out of your reach works well.
Then open just the top of the packet, so that you have to insert your hand into the crumbly dry sweet darkness inside to find your biscuits.
Arrange a large pile of them next to your seat while your librettist brings in a large cafetiere of freshly ground coffee, full cream milk, brown sugar in a china bowl, two large cups, and a spoon.
Pour the coffee
Take a biscuit gently between finger and thumb, insert into the hot coffee, lift out, and bite. You will find that the biscuit retains exactly the right amount of crunch while at the same time also exudes the sweet sap of the sugar.
Leap to the piano, and plunge into music.
Works every time.
Come and hear the oratorio on the 30th October to sample results.